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Raving Fans
"Jessica Sitomer's book reminds me of the old adage: 'Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day. Teach him to fish and he'll eat for a lifetime.' There is no shortage of books on bookshelves in bookstores offering up the Hollywood hopeful a fish (or in most cases, something fishy). Sitomer provides a strategy on how to create a career so you will work (and eat!) for a lifetime."
-Andrew Kreisberg, Co-Executive Producer, Eli Stone, Writer, Boston Legal, The Simpsons
"Jessica with AND.ACTION! has created a productive and effective way of not only guiding the reader through a method of setting attainable goals but also providing for them an enjoyable process in the journey of self discovery."
-Ana Lucia Cottone, Television Programming Executive
"Thinking outside the box and nurturing relationships is the key to being a successful actor. Jessica Sitomer's AND.ACTION! will teach you how to do this. The same career building tools she shares here will also help you balance your life when you get to wear many hats in this field. Run to get this book!"
-Diane Farr, Actress, Numb3rs, Author, The Girl Code
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Thank you for visiting my blog. My name is Jessica Sitomer and I am a Career Coach for the entertainment industry. I’ve had the privilege of working with people in all stages of their careers. Wherever you are, if you have questions about the “biz,” I have answers. In my blog, I will be commenting on the many challenges that come up for people in our industry and how to overcome them. The quote, “Perseverance, perseverance, perseverance,” has come up in so many speeches I’ve heard through the years. I believe that to succeed, you need tools and mindsets to help you persevere in this highly unstable, ever-changing industry. I'm always looking for new ways to better serve the entertainment community, so please click here to ask a question and learn more about my programs. Whatever classification you’re in, come on back and find out the latest about how to advance your career and achieve the success you desire. Please take a look around, get to know the place, and visit often. One last thing: tell a friend!!
Thank you,
Jessica
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SCREAM Don’t Answer The Phone
By, Jessica Sitomer
Why after all of the horror films ever made, does the damsel in distress still pick up the phone to discover the killer is in the house. I mean, what was Drew Barrymore doing talking on the phone to a psycho killer in a movie where a serial killer is stalking teens just like in “the movies?” It happens every time you watch a horror movie. You wonder, why do the teens go out in the woods alone when they know there’s a murderer in the woods?
That’s kind of how I feel when I go to networking events and watch entertainment industry professionals who are looking for work. Do you make these 5 key mistakes when you’re networking?
1. A babysitter in a nightgown answering a phone when the killer is in the house, is the equivalent of you asking someone you just met for work. It’s a big no-no. They don’t know you well enough to trust you. Instead, build the relationship and discuss your work so they are interested in maintaining a relationship with you, and should they need someone at that moment, they may offer it to you. If you say, “I’m available” after a great conversation, you just put up a 15 foot wall between the two of you.
2. Teenagers making out in a car in the woods where a known killer is on the loose, is the equivalent of you being pushy with a speaker after a Q&A. It makes me cringe when I watch someone push their script or reel on someone who is clearly saying they can’t accept it. DO NOT CORNER THE SPEAKER! Instead, ask him/her a relevant question based on the panel or screening, and then follow up with a note reminding him/her that you were the person who asked (insert your question).
3. The young sexy girl, who sits in a room where she was told to wait by her boyfriend, who is clearly being tortured to death in the next room, is the equivalent of you going to a networking event and not meeting people. I’ve seen you walking around, looking for people you know, seeing someone you’d like to speak to, but second guessing yourself and going back to a seat by yourself. Instead, commit to a number of people you WILL introduce yourself to, and push yourself out of your comfort zone to do it.
4. The young skinny dippers in the haunted camp lake; they are as about as doomed as you are, if you get hammered at a networking event and make a big fool of yourself. This may work for A-List celebrities, but it is a no-no for you. Social drinking is one thing, getting inebriated to overcome your nerves and then doing things that are out of character for you is a bad choice. Instead, have objectives for the networking event or party, be professional and use my tools to calm your nerves instead of the bar.
5. The woman who waves down the truck, blaring creepy banjo music, because her car broke down, is the equivalent of you trying to network with the wrong people. It is a waste of your time to go blindly into a networking situation and just “hope” to meet the right people. Instead, research the speakers, guests, or panelists if possible. If not, have a specific classification of people you want to meet. For example, plan to meet 2 directors and 3 producers. This way, if you get stuck talking to a Hollywood real estate agent (insert creepy banjo music here), you can politely excuse yourself knowing you have not yet met the people you came to meet.
And Action!
1. If networking is challenging for you, find a partner to attend the events with you.
2. Do your research before an event.
3. Create goals for the event and don’t leave until you’ve reached them or exhausted every option.
Networking events don’t have to be horrific. Be prepared and the nerves will dissipate. |
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DOG PARK Sniffing around for jobs in entertainment?
By, Jessica Sitomer
Dog Park is a comedy that addresses what so many single people wonder- can you meet someone to date at the dog park? But while Andy, Lorna, Jeri, and others are looking at each other, they could learn a lot by watching how their dogs interact.
Observations from dog park and how it applies to your career:
1. Familiarity breeds success, expose your dog to as many positive experiences, places and animals as you can.
For you to achieve the same success, you must consciously make an effort to expose yourself to many people and networking opportunities.
2. Proper socialization is when your dog is calm, confident, and controllable when he is interacting with other dogs.
At a networking event you want to feel calm, confident, and in control. Like dogs sense a fearful or nervous dog, people sense nervous, desperate, resentful people. Therefore, it’s important for you to work on your state of mind when going out. Leave the realities of life behind and view the networking event as an opportunity where one conversation can change your life forever. That will create excitement, and wonder, two emotions that are very attractive to others.
3. When a couple of well-balanced, well-socialized, happy-go-lucky dogs meet, the result is often pure joy on the part of both dogs. They may run excitedly toward each other tails raised and wagging, mouths held relaxed, partly open, with lips slightly retracted (almost smiling), and with tongues lolling from side of their mouths.
Enter a room with the excitement of possibility, a smile on your face, and a joyful, happy-go-lucky, attitude. This will create instant rapport when approaching new people. And hey, running excitedly toward someone you already know will make him/her feel special, and cause others to notice you and smile.
4. On establishing close contact, dogs proceed to investigate each other using every single sense to familiarize themselves with their new contact. The dogs then engage in a more physical greeting, perhaps licking, pawing, or body rubbing against each other. Their mutual appreciation endorsed, they may then signal a desire to play by means of ritualistic play bows and they're off to the races.
Investigate the new people you’re meeting by asking questions that will get them talking about themselves. If you are familiar with their work, show appreciation for it. Licking is definitely out of the questions, however, a firm handshake is advised. Weak or limp handshakes are just creepy and knuckle crushing handshakes are too aggressive. I don’t know why this is still an issue, but it is, so practice your handshake.
Dating in Dog Park had its twist and turns as your networking experiences will, but the characters were in it for love and you’re in it for success. There is no alternative. You must persevere.
And Action!
1. Evaluate if you need an attitude adjustment. If so, what can you program yourself to think about before entering a room that will make you feel excited and joyful?
2. Get honest feedback on your handshake
3. Go to a dog park and observe. It’s fascinating! And who knows- maybe you’ll meet someone in the industry.
4. TREATS! Dogs love ‘em and so do people when you follow up with them.
Dogs keep it simple when it comes to socialization. There is something to simplicity. Be like a well socialized dog: happy-go-lucky and a joy to be around! |
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HITCH Do You Want Jobs in Entertainment?
By, Jessica Sitomer
There’s only one way to get to Alex “Hitch” Hitchens, a professional “date doctor for men”— by referral. If Alex meets with a potential client it’s because the guy has been referred to him and that’s the ONLY way he’ll meet with a potential client.
People in the entertainment industry can be equally as hard to reach, but the power of a referral can make it all possible.
With everything on the line (money, reputations, jobs) people don’t want to hire someone they don’t know. Here’s another Hollywood catch 22: how do you get to know the people who won’t meet you if they don’t know you? You get to know them through the people you already know. In other words, you get a referral from a mutual acquaintance.
If you’re someone who doesn’t like making phone calls, a referral can boost your confidence because it creates an instant connection with a stranger. You become the mutual friend or associate. Because of the mutual associate, potential clients felt more comfortable meeting with Hitch, and he knew that his clients wouldn’t send him someone who wasn’t serious about being in a committed relationship.
Ask all the people on your Contact List for referrals. Be clear that you’re not asking for a recommendation. This would mean putting their reputation on the line by saying that you are the best person for the job. Although, it would be fine if they offered to give you a recommendation, you are simply asking to use their name as an introduction so when you call the new person, you are not calling cold, you are calling with an introduction from a mutual acquaintance. If you know someone your contact should meet, offer to trade referrals.
When requesting the referral, ask for an introduction to be made, a call on your behalf, or permission to use their name. If they plan to make the introduction, or call on your behalf, ask when you should follow up with the person who said they are going to make the call on your behalf. You want to follow up with them to see if they made the call and how you should proceed. It’s important to remain on top of the situation.
Once you receive referrals, you shouldn’t wait more than a few days to call the person you were referred to. The contacts who gave you the referrals may be so excited, they call their acquaintances to tell them to expect your call. If you wait too long, the acquaintance may think you’re unreliable.
When you call your referrals, design a strategy for your calls. Know what your objective for the call is before you make it so you’ll know when you’ve achieved it. Plan your request for follow-up in advance as well. Use, “This has been really helpful. If I have more questions in a month or so, may I call you again?” If they say, “Yes,” write it in your book to call them in a month. Or, “I appreciate you watching my reel. May I call you for feedback in two weeks?”
Referrals are the best way to meet the people you want to know. Using a mutual friend’s name when contacting a person you don’t know makes the whole process easier. Focus on meeting your friend’s friends, making it about friendship not work, and you will find referrals to be an extremely valuable business tool!
And Action!
1. Ask five people on your Contact List for three referrals.
2. Know your objective before you make your calls.
3. Call all of your referrals.
4. Schedule your follow-up with each person with whom you choose to continue building a relationship. You can ask if it would be okay to call if you have any questions in the future; if the answer is yes, mark your calendar to call back with a question in a month. Or you can mention your plan to take action on one of their suggestions; tell them you’ll let them know how it turns out.
The people who sought out a referral to Hitch, really wanted love. Despite possibly being nervous to call him, the results they wanted outweighed the fear. You really want work, act in spite of your fears and get referrals! |
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Want to learn more about my Reality Show? Listen to my interview on Robert Galinsky's Reality Wanted Radio Show
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THE HANGOVER Feeling overwhelmed by all you have to do?
By, Jessica Sitomer
You want to talk about being stuck in overwhelm? Let’s look at what Phil, Stu, and okay Alan, (but let’s face it, Alan never truly understood the magnitude of the situation) were up against. What started out as a bachelor party in Vegas turned into (spoiler alert): complete memory loss for a period of an entire night only to awaken and find the groom missing, a strange baby in their hotel closet, a tiger in their bathroom that belonged to Mike Tyson, who came to their room to get it back, a naked man in the trunk of their car that gets returned after realizing they’d stolen a cop car, tooth loss, marriage to a stripper/hooker…
Phew! I’m overwhelmed just thinking about what they went through in just one weekend.
These days, everyone (especially me), has another idea for you to get work: Facebook, Linked In, Twitter, mentors, phone calls, set visits, networking events, expos, thank you notes, email campaigns, a focused follow-up calendar, Q & A screenings…
Okay, I’m getting overwhelmed again. It’s kind of like having a hangover; it’s easier to just stay in bed. Yet, it all feels very important, right? And pressing, because if you stop doing any of it, for even a moment, the whole momentum you’ve been building will suddenly come to a grinding halt.
The bad news is, there is no magic bullet to get work. The good news is, of all the things I mentioned above, they do in fact work. The way to eliminate overwhelm is to figure out what works for you. What is the best use of your time? What is the fastest path that works for you?
First you have to recognize why you’re not working (or getting the kind of work you desire) by evaluating what’s missing. It’s either going to be:
1. You don’t know enough people
2. You don’t know the right people (those who can hire you)
3. You do know enough people but don’t know them well enough for them to hire you over the people they know, like, and trust
4. The people you know who could hire you aren’t working either
5. You need to improve your skills
6. You need to improve your attitude (especially if you think you’re masking desperation, frustration, resentment, etc)
There may be other reasons, though those are rare. To eliminate the feeling of overwhelm, you have to come up with a plan that doesn’t feel time consuming and/or produce slow results. It’s important to plant seeds for the long term, but busy work that doesn’t reap short-term results leads to overwhelm.
You may know the tasks that will bring you faster results but you are avoiding them because they make you feel uncomfortable. If so, the first thing you should do is address that so you can overcome that obstacle. In the mean time--
And Action!
1. Evaluate from the list above, what’s missing in order for you to get work now.
2. Choose only 3 actions that are your fastest path to work and focus on them for the month.
3. Once you have the 3 actions determined, put them into your calendar so you can see when you will be doing your “work” and how much time you’ve allocated for it.
Overwhelm disappears once you realize YOU DO HAVE ENOUGH TIME to get your needs met. |
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WHY YOU NEED MENTORS
I was recently talking to a young millionaire who was dealing with some very confusing problems. Having a few years on him, I realized, his problems were no different than other guys his age, he just has a lot of money and therefore that added confusion as to who is genuine and who is just interested in him for his money. As a young millionaire, there are tons of seasoned millionaires who would be fascinated by his story and how he made millions as a teenager. They would love to mentor him. The could explain to him how they went through the same things when they were his age and what they did right to stay on track, red flags to look out for, and how to figure out whom to trust. He had the same doubts that many of my clients have, (maybe even you have) “why would they want to help me?” The answer is it’s human nature. People either want to give back or they want to feel like an expert. What’s the point of knowing all of these great career lessons if you can’t share them with people?
I know, it reads well on paper, but when it comes down to making that phone call to ask or writing a mentor request letter, most people get stuck. Few people push through the fear, contact mentors, and reap the rewards. I don’t like those odds. I want more people learning from mentors. So I’ve made it so that you can learn from mentors without having to do the “work stuff” that you don’t like. If that intrigues you, check out http://ht.ly/1LIS6 |
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THE SHAWSHANK REDEMPTION How to make the most of your time
By, Jessica Sitomer
Interesting, that when you have nothing but time on your hands, you can come up with pretty creative solutions to seemingly insurmountable problems. Take Andy Dufresne, a successful banker who was sentenced to life in prison. Pretty insurmountable, yet he spent his time in a very strategic and productive way, always with his eye on his goal of FREEDOM.
One of the biggest complaints I hear not only from my audience, but from myself as well (that’s right, I’m human) is, “I don’t have enough time.” And though I hate to say it, because while I know it’s true, I still roll my eyes when I’m being torn in ten directions is this: we all have the same 24 hours in a day, it’s how you use them.
Here are some strategies to try out:
1. The To-Do List: my favorite because I’m motivated by crossing things off a list. There are a few ways to use the to-do list:
a. Have a fluid list where you tackle the tough stuff first, cross out and add as you go along, and always prioritize it.
b. Have a to-do list of 3 priorities for the day and get them done. Then crumple up the list and go about your day.
c. Have a yearlong business plan, broken down into months, then into weeks, then into days. This plan is also fluid as different projects come and go and priorities change.
2. Time Chunking: in your calendar, chunk out your time. Literally schedule your week. You can take a tip from iCal and have different colors for personal, health, business. You can break business time down further into administrative work, money/job generating work, creative brainstorming, and maintenance work.
3. Manage Your Distractions: I’m guilty of this. I’m actually writing this from a coffee shop so I can’t be distracted by my phone, my dogs, and the emails that I must check the moment I know they’ve come in. Do you have any idea how much time you waste checking and responding to emails and social media, during time chunks that should be specifically for money/job generating work? It’s ridiculous. So turn off your email and your Internet, and turn it back on during the administrative chunk of your day.
4. Just Say No: That’s the beauty of creating a schedule on your calendar for the week/month. When your friend asks you to come over and help put his Playstation together, you can say no. When your friend who likes to vent about how bad business is, wants to have lunch, you say no. Blame it on your calendar, but setting boundaries is a MUST for time management.
5. Have an email folder specifically for things you have to get to and have a day & time frame dedicated to this folder.
There are SO many strategies for time management so if I missed something that you’d like answers on send me an email at
This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it
And Action!
1. Make a list of personal and professional drains that are causing you to feel overwhelmed and time deprived
2. Put a date next to each drain on the list even if it’s a year from now, so you can get it off your mind
3. Schedule the pressing drains immediately to get them off of your list.
Remember that the biggest obstacle in regards to time is the energy spent “spinning” on the drains that are on your mind. Use one or more of the 5 tips to eliminate the drains and you’ll be amazed at how much extra time materializes in your day. |
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